Wisdom is tricky: 7 things you need to accept
I'm guessing you've heard what's known as the "Serenity Prayer," as it is recited and taught to parents of addicted adult children in most recovery spaces.
But, what we don't usually hear about is a breakdown of what we, as parents, need to accept... and then what we can work on changing.
Yes, it's taught that you can't change your child or your child's addiction. But this doesn't really address or describe for parents the myriad things that they actually need to accept.
And, when you don't know what you need to accept, versus what you can change, you can easily conflate the two.
This is why the trickiest part of the Serenity Prayer is often having the "wisdom to know the difference."
And, let's face it, when you're stressed out with anxiety or braced for the "other shoe to drop," wisdom can be out of reach.
When we are in "fight or flight" mode or even in "low-grade" chronic anxiety and stress, the part of the brain that is responsible for executive functioning and for regulating our emotions goes offline. So, wisdom can be literally inaccessible.
That's why I made my latest video that differentiates the things you need to accept from the things you can change.
I talk about specific things that parents need to accept - because when we don't know and accept them...
This is when parents, in my experience, keep trying to control what they cannot control. And, these control attempts are a recipe for ongoing stress, strained relationships, and distancing themselves from living according to their values.
Knowing the difference between the things you need to accept and the things you can change can lead to the serenity we want to feel.
You can listen to or watch my video, where I list 7 things to accept and 7 things you can work on changing by clicking on the link below.