Loving, connected relationships… without sacrificing yourself

RELATIONSHIP THERAPY FOR INDIVIDUALS ACROSS MARYLAND & FLORIDA

 Help for navigating difficult relationships for people who feel responsible for everyone.

You put a lot of effort into making things better…

  • You work so hard to keep everyone happy, and you’re exhausted.

  • As soon as someone needs something, you’re there to help; but then you feel resentful, angry, or burdened, blaming them for “making you” do things you don’t want to spend time on.

  • You feel like you can’t do the things you want because of your duty to your loved ones.

  • You keep putting yourself last, sacrificing your own emotional, physical, or financial well-being; and then you feel taken advantage of and mad at yourself.

  • You lie awake, wondering if you should be doing more to be a good mom, daughter, wife…

  • You’re tired of walking on eggshells: planning what to say, what not to say, and how you’ll respond when they do or say something you don’t like.

You feel a chronic sense of anxiety, guilt, or unease. You wonder if you’ll ever be able to relax and do what you want to do in life, without worrying about how everyone else will react. And you’re tired of waiting for something or someone to change.

You’ve tried so many things already…

The fact that you’ve worked on your own personal development and that you’re really good at helping others can actually make this more frustrating. You tend to jump in and fix things when needed.

You may have tried…

  • Implementing boundaries

  • Getting on the “same page”

  • Reinforcing “good” behavior

  • Trying to understand them more by researching or just listening

  • Engaging in more self-care

  • Convincing your loved one to do what they’re supposed to do

  • Communicating with tools you’ve learned from a therapist, blog…

But, these things didn’t work…

Or they worked sometimes…a little bit…for a little while…

WHY?

Because they are still based on patterns of interactions where you are trying dearly to keep the peace, “fix” another person…

In order to get approval and feel like you’re doing everything right.

You feel a sense of burden or guilt - as if everyone else's feelings matter way more than yours.

You’ve spent so many years taking care of others, or of being the “good girl,” that you measure your success by how good of a wife, family member, or employee you are.

You grew up reading the room - instead of recognizing and caring for your own wants and needs.

You feel responsible for everyone.

Individual Relationship Therapy will help you

  • Get honest with and start honoring your own feelings, needs, and values; so you can make decisions about whether or how to keep investing in your relationships.

  • Set boundaries and say no, without being “weird” or “harsh.”

  • Know exactly what to do when you experience anxiety, guilt, grief, resentment, and other emotions that relationships can bring.

  • Communicate with kindness, without “walking on eggshells,” so that you can connect with your loved one and also respect yourself.

  • Feel more confident and clear, so you can stop wondering what to do, and start focusing on what you want.

FAQs about Individual Relationship Therapy

  • This is not a comprehensive list, but I can help with your: adult children, parents, siblings or other family members, spouse/partner, etc. I also have expertise in helping relationship challenges that are due to drug/alcohol problems, narcissism, differing religious/political/other beliefs. I do also see couples together, when there are issues in which I specialize (boundaries, navigating problems with adult children, communication, etc.)

  • Nope. In fact, most of the time, I make it easier for individuals to stay connected and achieve healthier relationships. Furthermore, I won’t judge your loved one as good or bad. What I will do is help you get clear on what YOU want for yourself, and to work on your “side of the street,” and how to have a fulfilling, loving relationship while also staying true to yourself.

  • I have found that many therapists suggest measures that are ineffective and/or too extreme when attempting to help individuals with relationship issues. My approach is simple, but nuanced and research-informed. And it’s tailored to your unique situation and the results you want for yourself and your loved ones.

  • Our work together will look at what you bring to your relationships: your emotions and needs, the patterns that cause you suffering, and how you react to your loved one. When we tease these factors out, you are then left to see “what’s yours” and “what’s theirs.” This helps you get a lot of clarity on how to move toward wellbeing.

  • You can schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation with me. This is usually enough time to see if I can help, and for you to decide if I’m the right therapist for you. If you click on a “free consultation” button, you’ll be taken right to my calendar to schedule. Or, feel free to email me.

 Relationships are a two-way street. But you can only take care of one side.